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"Touched by an Angel" is a TV show that tugs
my emotional strings each time I watch it. We all experience
challenges in our lives and are in need of an "angel."
A patient's mother once told me that nurses are angels
sent from heaven.
Are we angels?
"One, two, three alcohol swabs," "one,
two, three Betadine swabs" are the words I recall
saying as I taught central line care to the parents
of a newly diagnosed leukemia patient. As the primary
nurse for this patient, I went through many teaching
and listening sessions.
Two years after the diagnosis, the patient relapsed
and underwent a bone marrow transplant. I remember "visiting"
and reading a story to this 5-year-old child in BMT
during my lunch break, and she shared that the only
reason she was wearing a diaper was because the medicine
made her "pee" a lot: "I'm really potty
trained." A child's dignity.
Unfortunately, the patient relapsed again immediately
after the transplant. Her impending death was overwhelming
for her parents as they listened intently to the doctor
during the DNR conference. After the conference, they
turned to me and asked, "Can you explain it all
again?" and "What would you do?"
What I learned that day is that I cannot make these
difficult decisions for the patients and their families,
but I can be the instrument to help them find the missing
pieces to the puzzle.
When I arrived to work the day the patient died, I
found her mother sitting and holding her. Her father
was donating platelets. To an experienced nurse, it
was apparent that the child was taking her last few
breaths, but not to this mother who had never been at
the bedside of a dying person. I called the blood bank
and asked them to have the father return to the room
immediately. A few minutes later, the child took her
last breath and went to rest eternally.
That was 12 years ago. To this day, the parents send
cards to say, "Thank you. You were there when she
was diagnosed. You were there to teach us, support us
and advocate for us. You were there when she died
and if it weren't for you, her father would not have
been there to hold her as she took her last breath."
An angel sent from heaven? No, I'm not an angel. I
am a nurse.
I recognized the mother right away. The "child,"
no longer a child, is a UCLA student.
His mother recalls the torturous memories of the days
when he was being treated for leukemia at age 6. As
she shares his accomplishments, she states, "I
will never forget the wonderful care he received. I
remember all the nurses and what the nurses did to help
us."
Angels sent from heaven? No, we're not angels. We're
nurses.
A 19-year-old man who has been off therapy for several
years comes for his annual check-up. When asked what
he is doing now, he tells me that he's in school to
become a nurse. He shares with me that he wants to do
something important with his life.
My parents take pride in sharing, with anyone who cares
to listen, that I am a nurse.
Until four years ago, I was a child in my father's
eyes. At that time, he underwent heart surgery and had
a long and difficult recovery. He told my mother and
me that he wanted to die.
His cardiologist told us he would live. I used all
that I learned as a nurse and guided him along the path
of recovery. I convinced him that he needed hydration
and nutrition. He agreed to an NG tube, and I taught
my mother to "feed" him with it.
Four years later, at age 92, he is riding his stationary
bike, three miles a day, every day. Now I am no longer
a child, but his grown daughter and resource-and a nurse.
Whenever he is struck with an ailment, the question
he asks my mother is, "Did you call her and ask
her what I need to do?"
A mother who is a nurse always knows how to heal an
"ouchie." My children choose to have their
mommy put a Band-Aid on-because mommy is a nurse. They
looked at the calendar and noticed that National Nurses
Week was approaching and asked me to come to their school
to talk to their classmates about nursing. Pride in
what mommy does: nursing.
When I was 11 years old, I was hospitalized for two
weeks in an American military hospital in Japan. As
a non-English-speaking child, I was challenged with
trying to understand all the instructions. When I woke
up from anesthesia after an inner ear surgery, I felt
the need to empty my bladder. I didn't want to bother
anyone, but how do I get out of this bed? I climbed
over the side rail and pushed the IV pole while holding
onto the wall. I felt a little dizzy, but I knew I could
do it myself.
When the nurse found me in the bathroom, she did not
scold me, but instead, using hand and body motions,
explained why it was so dangerous for me to get up on
my own.
During my two-week hospitalization, I watched "angels"-no,
nurses-in action. I watched a nurse soothe a crying
child. I watched a nurse gently bathe a child in a spika
cast. I watched a nurse teach a mother how to take care
of her ill child.
Compassion has no language barrier. I knew then that
I wanted to be just like them.
The armor of courage and strength with which the young
patients and their families fight their adversity inspire
me. The dedication and compassion of my nurse colleagues
inspire me.
If I had it to do all over again, would I still be
a nurse today?
Without any hesitation, the answer is "yes."
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