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“I’ve been in the military for a long time, and the Army trains you well, but I don’t think anything can prepare you for seeing someone killed right beside you,” Smith-Kimble says.

Back home

The deployment of nurses like Smith-Kimble and other health care professionals also had its impact back home.

With 29 staff members from Olin Teague deployed at the same time, including housekeepers, social workers, chaplains, nurses, and doctors, the workload at the center had to be spread around whenever possible. In some cases, such as when two of their three orthopedic surgeons went over, a backlog of surgeries resulted.

Teague Center orthopedic surgeon Col. Gerald Dreher with the Army Reserve spent five months in an Air Force hospital in Kuwait. “The real unsung heroes are my colleagues left behind with the extra workload. The hardest part of the deployment for me was the disruption it caused at the VA,” Dreher says. He feels more health care workers are needed in the military and the reserves to help out on both ends. “These are our kids, our neighbors’ kids, and they need to be taken care of,” Dreher says.

And those kids, Smith-Kimble says, provided marvelous examples of courage and selflessness. “I have to tell you, with all the soldiers I’ve taken care of, despite the circumstances surrounding their injuries, the majority want to get back out there and do their mission. They’re not focusing on their injuries,” Smith-Kimble says. “They’re focusing on their unit, and they feel that with one soldier down, that’s less they have to fight with. They want to get back out there.”

Moses agrees. “Even with horrendous injuries, I never heard one soldier complain or question why they were there.”

Most of the soldiers also came to appreciate the nurses’ presence more than anyone could have imagined, Smith-Kimble says. “Part of our job was to provide solace. When they hear you speaking English, they know they’re a little closer to home. And although they may have lost an arm and a leg, they’re thanking you for being there for them.”

Times like that still made it difficult not to break down, Smith-Kimble admits. Despite their optimism, the reality is that the soldiers have suffered tragedies and are forever changed by the experience of war. “You have to hold it in, because that’s their way of coping with the traumatic injuries they’ve gone through.”

It’s made even more difficult by the relative lack of resources to help nurses and other health care workers deal with their trauma. Debriefing and counseling in the military is concentrated on soldiers, Smith-Kimble says. “There’s not that much out there for noncombatants, but I hope they’ll have more available in the future.”

Wayne Gregory, who heads the post-traumatic stress disorder program at the Waco VA Medical Center, says the impact of the war also is affecting his clients who have fought in past wars. “The similarities between the wars in Iraq and Vietnam are incredible, never knowing who the enemy is or when he’ll attack,” he says. “The possibility of civilian casualties is a terrible thing that has to be dealt with.”

Moses, like Smith-Kimble, hopes for more programs to counsel returning medical personnel. In the meantime, she tries to set aside time to volunteer at the VA hospital in Dallas. “It’s a passion I have to continue to help them. These memories are here to stay.”

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