What My Mother Gave Me

By Lisa Gegenheimer, RN, BSN
November 29, 2004

In 1994, I was a junior attending Texas A&M University at Galveston studying marine biology. I needed a job, and was eagerly scanning the ads on the bulletin board when my eyes rested on one particular ad.

It called for a personal attendant for a fellow student who was a quadriplegic living in the adjacent dormitory.

Most of my past job experiences were working in medical offices as a receptionist, so I did have a familiarity with the medical field.

I quickly tore down the ad and raced to my room to call my parents to let them know of a possible job opportunity.

I dialed the phone and my mother picked up the phone. “Guess what, Mom! I found a job.”

I heard a long silence and a heavy sigh at the other end of the line before she spoke. “Sweetheart, I suggest you forgo this job. It sounds difficult and you are going to school full time. It will take up too much of your time and your grades could suffer,” she said. “Besides, it is hard taking care of another person.”

Both of my parents were definitely against me taking this job. I became angry and slammed down the phone with my mind set on applying for the job. I knew I could do it and plus, I needed some money.

I obtained the job, and I worked as this young lady’s personal attendant for about a year. I learned many aspects about human needs and activities of daily living that people take for granted every day.

Everything was running smoothly in my life until one semester before graduation, when an emotional call from my mother came through to my dorm room.

“Lisa, I have been having problems with my muscles and I went to the doctor,” she said. My heart was pounding as my mother tearfully relayed the bad news. “They did a muscle biopsy and it came back positive for Lou Gehrig’s disease (amyotrophic lateral sclerosis).”

I listened, but really had no clue about the severity of what she was talking about. The reality of the disease sunk in when she attended my graduation in the summer of 1995 in a wheelchair.

My strong-spirited mother looked very thin and weak under her flowered dress with her twisted, contracted hands. Her speech was garbled and she had no appetite for food and had difficulty swallowing.

I continuously asked God over and over the reasons for her present physical state and suffering. I was angry with God for targeting my mother with this disease.

I was not able to pursue a job in marine biology because my mother needed 24-hour care. I lived with her in Houston, where she had to be near the medical center for her treatments.

She was frustrated with her inabilities and one day was crying as I was giving her a bath and a back rub. It was during my care of my mother when a revelation suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks. God gave me that job as a personal attendant to prepare me to care for my own mother.

I had home health skills that could ease my mother’s discomforts. I instantly hugged my mother and told her that I would always be there to care for her. She smiled back through all her tears.

In February 1996, my mother was hospitalized with complications related to her disease. She had to have a feeding tube inserted in her stomach to receive liquid nutrition.

She lost the ability to swallow and to talk clearly. My mother and I developed a special language that only I could understand fully. Her eyes relayed the pain that I tried desperately to relieve.

I stayed at her bedside night and day to ensure that she was getting proper nursing care. I constantly rewetted her mouth, and even invented a contraption with straws to ensure she got water if I ever stepped out of the room. I turned and repositioned my mother and cleaned her as needed.

Some of the nurses at the hospital took notice of the care I gave to my mother. They took me aside and asked, “Have you ever thought about becoming a registered nurse? You sure do interact well with your mother,” they said.

I looked at them blankly and thanked them, not really knowing the importance of their suggestions.

On Feb. 12, 1996, the Lord took my mother and ended her suffering of five years. I remembered what the nurses told me. I entered nursing school and graduated in May 1998.

I am now a transplant nurse in the Texas Medical Center. I get patients ready for organ transplants and also care for them afterward.

I will always remember my experiences with my mother. It inspired me for my life’s work as a registered nurse. I really enjoy my job.

God gave me the background, skills, and caring capacity to handle patients with special needs. I knew there was a special reason that God made me headstrong to take that difficult job in college.

Lisa Gegenheimer, RN, BSN, is a staff nurse in the Dunn 4 West organ/transplant unit at The Methodist Hospital in Houston.