NurseWeek: Sex and the net: safe vs. unhealthy options (part II of a two-part series)

Sex and the 'Net: safe vs. unhealthy options
Part II of a two-part series

Editor's note: To ensure privacy, some individuals' last names have been omitted.
By Tim Bergling
Health24News
October 12, 2000


	You've read the article. Now tell us what you think. Read Part I of the series Related sites Center for Online and Internet Addiction Journal of the American Medical Association

"There was a time when you could say I was addicted to the Internet," said Mark, a 17-year-old high school student in Virginia. Mark, who describes himself as "painfully shy," says the Internet gave him a way to blow off stress piled on by a competitive school environment. "Talking to people online was so much easier–the embarrassment and social stigmas in social situations could be avoided, while still having some kind of contact with people."

But Mark, now actively involved in his high school's crew team, says he came to a point where he realized he had to get out from behind the keyboard and find a real life. "It's not healthy mentally or physically. It can come to a point where people will withdraw into the computer and avoid interpersonal relationships," he said.

Mark's view illustrates just some of the complexities inherent in this brave new world called the Internet. It's a medium that allows some to find their voice in the vast anonymity of cyberspace, to make connections they've never dreamed of in the world outside, but in so doing, they run the risk of forsaking relationships with that world. By the same token, some use the Internet for the sole purpose of making a flesh-and-blood connection, but by expanding the range of their contacts and accelerating the pace at which those contacts are made, they may be risking their very lives.

Last month The Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) published results of a study sponsored by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and the Denver Public Health Department. Researchers surveyed 856 people who had sought HIV tests; they found that 10 percent had "hooked up" with someone they had met online. Of that number, nearly 40 percent had met four or more people–and researchers discovered that people who were having sex with their Internet contacts were only using condoms about half of the time.

The study's authors are lobbying for a new education campaign, an effort to get more information about sexually transmitted diseases and safe sex practices placed in the same Internet areas where people meet.

But thousands of other folks are meeting, without ever leaving the house to get together. "I cannot meet people in person, at bars or parties," said Steve, a 50-year-old mortgage loan manager in Ohio. "I just feel too intimidated, and the rejection is just horrible. But rejection online doesn't really hurt at all. You just keep clicking until you find someone nice to chat with. And hopefully, more than chat."

Steve is among the thousands of men and women who regularly have what's popularly called "cybersex": erotic words and imagery traded back and forth for sexual gratification. For some, it's every bit if not more satisfying than sex in the real world.

"I really, really liked cybersex when I was younger," said Sean, a 25-year-old student in Chicago. "In fact I probably liked it way too much. Back when you had to pay for AOL at an hourly rate I ran up credit-card debts that were simply huge. I also used to skip school so I could stay home and 'cyber'. It was hard to tear myself away from the computer."

Cybersex isn't just words and static pictures anymore, either. Over the last few years, the Internet has seen an explosion of users who maintain their own Web cameras, which provide a continuous "big brother" view into their own "real world." Many of these cameras are interactive [functioning like videophone], allowing people with a mutual attraction to connect over distances that can be measured in thousands of miles.

Some may regard cybersexual interests as something bizarre and sterile, but enthusiasts see the fantasy world they create and enjoy as something safe, devoid of the risks faced by those who use the Internet to set up actual sexual liaisons.

Kimberly Young, executive director of the Center for Online Addiction and author of "Caught in the 'Net," is one of many professionals who have a benign view of such activities. "In the age of AIDS, cybersex is a form of safe sex," Young said. But the power of that fantasy life can lead to a very real and problematic addiction. "For any population of users, cybersex can have both positive and negative effects. The person crosses the line to addiction when this behavior becomes harmful."

Young suggests that 'Net enthusiasts asks themselves some hard questions:

Do you feel preoccupied with the Internet (think about previous online activity or anticipate next online session)?
Do you feel the need to use the Internet for increasing amounts of time in order to achieve satisfaction?
Have you repeatedly made unsuccessful efforts to control, cut back or stop Internet use?
Do you feel restless, moody, depressed or irritable when attempting to cut down or stop Internet use?
Do you stay online longer than originally intended?
Have you jeopardized or risked the loss of a significant relationship, job or educational or career opportunity because of the Internet?
Have you lied to family members, a therapist or others to conceal the extent of your involvement with the Internet?
Do you use the Internet as a way of escaping from problems or relieving a dysphoric mood (e.g., feelings of helplessness, guilt, anxiety, depression)?

Young says a "yes" to four or more of these questions may be a sign you have a problem. And just as there are programs to help drug addicts, so too are there programs aimed at steering Internet addicts back on track.

"Whenever you engage in behaviors that have significant consequence[s] on your life and you cannot control it, you have a circumstance that requires some sort of professional intervention," said Drew Pinsky, "Dr. Drew" of the nationally syndicated "Loveline" radio show and its counterpart televised on MTV. "These are things that require treatment and should be taken seriously."