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Interview
by Deepa Arora
Photo Courtesy of Shirley Wingate,
RN
June
7, 1999
A birth junkie—that’s how Shirley Wingate, RN, describes
herself. Ever since she can remember, she’s been fascinated with
childbirth. Wingate puts her passion and her experience as an ob/gyn
nurse to good use as an advice nurse on www.childbirth.org,
a Web site that offers advice on childbirth and parenting.
As a volunteer,
Wingate answers an average of 30 e-mail queries a week on subjects
as varied as Group B strep, vaginal birth after a cesarean, and epidurals.
Wingate, who is also a certified doula, believes that the prevailing
climate of cost-cutting and staff reductions in health care has left
health professionals with less time to spend with patients—leaving
expectant parents more in need of support and information than ever.
Q:
What is childbirth.org?
A:
It is a very comprehensive parenting and childbirth information site.
It provides valuable information that can help parents make choices
by teaching them to be informed consumers. I often hear parents say
they need someone to just give them the facts. Not to try to persuade
them to jump into an induction or an epidural, but give them both
sides of the story so that the parents can make the decision. I don’t
know if some of the questions are real, but I respond like they are.
I hope that will give them enough trust in me so that they can contact
me for something else. I don’t care if it’s a first time
parent or a mother who has had six children—they deserve the
respect and time to have their questions answered.
Q:
What sort of questions do you get?
A:
The most popular question for a while was "What time and day
should we have sex so we can have a millennium baby?" I am surprised
by the number of teen-agers who e-mail me. They ask questions like
"My boyfriend and I were fooling around and he ejaculated. Am
I pregnant?" And they want to know right away! Pregnancy is a
big fear [for teen-agers]. This is a nonthreatening way for them to
get information. They feel safe because no one judges them. I also
get a lot of drug questions: "My boyfriend smokes marijuana every
day. Will it hurt my baby?" "We had intercourse after using
cocaine. It is going to harm the baby?" I don’t give medical
advice but steer them toward the help they need.
Q:
Are most of the questions from women?
A:
Sometimes I get questions from men. Like "When is the best time
to get pregnant?" or "What is the best way to make sure
we get a girl or a boy?" Sometimes they are concerned about their
wives. "My wife has been vomiting for three days. Is that normal?"
I get questions
from all over the world. In so many situations, their obstetric care
is several years behind ours. There is a woman in Venezuela whose
doctor has told her she has to have a C-section because her pelvis
is too small. But there is no way to determine that before she tries
[to have a vaginal birth]. It is amazing how many people e-mail me
several times. I had a dad who e-mailed me because his wife was in
the 28th week of her pregnancy and started having premature labor.
He e-mailed me for six weeks with questions and updates, and you could
tell from his e-mail that having somebody, even a faceless somebody,
to share his worries and fears really made a difference.
Q:
This is a volunteer position. Why do you do it?
A:
By educating people, I am empowering them to make positive decisions
and choices in their life. I believe that every woman has the right
to a positive birth experience. And that happens when the woman has
the necessary information to make informed choices for herself. So
if we can get out there—as nurses, as midwives, advice nurses
on the Web—we can touch their lives enough to have a positive
impact on their parenting and their birth experience.
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