By Anne Federwisch, OTR
January 3, 1999
Photo: Photodisc

If only there were more than 24 hours in a day, you’d probably have an easier time balancing the numerous demands on your time. Although a few people have been able to orchestrate their work, leisure, and family pursuits into a harmonious hum, many more strike the discordant tones of lives out of control. But to be the most effective in both your professional and personal endeavors, experts agree you need to try to control the chaos.

Too often when under stress, people don’t take time to evaluate what they’re undertaking and why they’re doing it—which creates more stress, said Pamela Ammondson, author of Clarity Quest: How to Take a Sabbatical Without Taking More Than a Week Off (Fireside, 1999, $12). She describes the book as a life tune-up for busy people. “Often we take on so many things, we’re not conscious of what we’re doing and if it’s really what we want to be doing,” she said. “You’re on the treadmill and you’re running as fast as you can.”

But doing it all has consequences. “I think we work ‘til we drop, we volunteer ‘til we drop, we shop ‘til we drop, and we don’t realize that the only person we’re hurting is ourself,” said Karen Jacobs, EdD, OTR/L, president of the American Occupational Therapy Association.

Take control

Rather than letting your life run you, you need to run your life, said Carol Bradley, MSN, RN, president of the American Organization of Nurse Executives. “You need to have a sense of control over your life,” she said.

And that takes a bit of time, but is well worth the effort, said psychiatric nurse Pamela Rummage Culp, MS, RN, co-founder of Synazure, a Redwood City, Calif.-based consulting firm that offers seminars such as “Sorting Through the Chaos” to help people balance their lives. “You have to take the time to stop and think about things in a somewhat organized fashion to try to figure out what it is you really want,” Culp said.

One way to do that is to keep a detailed log of your daily activities for at least a week, according to Jacobs. “Look at them. Analyze them into categories and see if it looks like balance to you,” she said.

Defining balance

But it’s important to remember that everyone defines balance differently. “I don’t think there’s any magic prescription for it. I think it depends on what people’s personal interests are and what relaxes them,” Bradley said.

You need to define in your own mind what balance is for you, according to Jacobs. “A balance does not [necessarily] mean that a third of your day is spent in self-care, one-third in work, and one-third in play. It’s what represents health and well-being to you,” she explained.

The next step is to set priorities based on what’s important to you. “Life is a balancing act, but if you strive to be true to yourself and true to others, you can learn to carry just the right load,” Ammondson writes in her book.

In Culp’s seminars, she helps people identify their values and make choices accordingly. “We do some exercises to help people take a look at what things are the most important to them. What would their life look like if they were living it the way they really wanted to,” she said.

Just say no

Once you’ve prioritized, you need to create some boundaries. “Set some limits. That, of course, is very hard unless you have a very clear idea of what you want,” Culp said.

Next comes the real work—eliminating the extraneous elements in your life that just contribute to the chaos and add nothing to your sense of well-being. “Are you doing what you want to be doing? If not, can you easily eliminate those activities from your schedule?” are the key questions to ask yourself at this stage, according to Ammondson. “Sometimes it’s stepping back and taking stock of your life. There are many things that many of us can just eliminate from our lives,” she said.

Another alternative is to unload part of your juggling act. “It’s a process of negotiating your priorities with your husband, kids, family, elders—whatever your commitments are outside of work—and making sure your career and the professional responsibilities you have are being effectively woven with those personal responsibilities,” Bradley said.

It’s also important to just say no to new commitments that don’t fit your schedule or your priorities, said Tammy Maddrey, senior consultant with Managing Work and Family Inc., headquartered in Evanston, Ill. You may want to consider job sharing or part-time employment. (According to the American Nurses Association, about 29 percent of RNs employed in nursing work part time.)

Other times, it’s a matter of snipping out wasted time, Ammondson said. Can you switch your schedule or the route of your commute to avoid traffic? Can you shop online rather than trekking to a variety of stores? Can your kids join a carpool instead of depending on you for all their transportation needs? “Pull in your scattered energies,” Ammondson advised. Better planning results in more time for play, rest, and leisure.

Mind and body connection

Your priorities should include time for exercise, decent nutrition, relaxation time, and plenty of rest, Maddrey said. “Taking care of your body is just as important as taking care of yourself mentally,” she said.

“Studies have shown that exercise helps shore up resistance to some of the physical impact of stress,” Culp said. “Exercise, a good diet, and a reasonable amount of rest really help you keep physically in shape to cope with the kind of stressful life we have now.”

But don’t set unattainable goals for yourself. That just adds to the stress, Jacobs said. “You can put exercise into your life without going to a gym,” she said. “It might mean parking your car a little farther away. Instead of taking the elevator, walk the stairs. At lunch time, spend half an hour eating, and the next half hour walking.”

And be sure to identify what relaxes you. Whether it’s a hot bath, a quick meditation, or a 10-minute power nap, schedule time for those as well. Barter with your spouse or a neighbor to take charge of your dependents, if need be, to secure some time alone. Or wake up before the rest of the household.

“If you take some time, as little as just a few minutes a day to do some of these things, even 7 minutes a day, to renew and recharge, you can get things done,” Ammondson said. And you’ll be more productive.

It may be difficult, Culp said, but it’s important to your mental and physical well-being to take charge of your life and create order out of the chaos. It’s a matter of taking a stand on what’s important. “No one is as motivated to take care of you as you are,” she noted. And if you don’t, who will?