Nursing was a great career for me as a carefree, single young adult, but even better for my life as a mom. I think my kids would agree as well. Although I would be the first to admit that my parenting and work responsibilities have not always been in perfect balance, neither my family nor I seem to be the worse for wear because of it. Thankfully, my husband is among the many spouses who willingly do their share of housework and child care without being asked.

In hindsight, I can fondly remember the inevitable conversations about work and nursing with my daughters, and overheard explanations to their friends on why their mom worked. Their occasional bout of resentment regarding my work demands was largely overshadowed by their pride that I was a nurse and had an "important" job. Now that they are teen-agers, it is clear that the benefits of having two working parents have outweighed the negatives. Both my daughters are intelligent, responsible, caring and independent. They are already plotting their own future education and eventual careers. Will one be a nurse? Who knows-I try not to press the issue too much.

I can say, however, that whether working as a staff nurse or nursing leader, I have watched organizations deal differently with working parents (male or female) as employees. I still find it amazing that family-friendly workplaces are not the rule, but the exception. Among all industries, one would think that health care would be a leader in this, yet that has not necessarily been the case.

Within the recent NURSEWEEK/AONE study, we asked nurses about job security, job stress, their employer's emphasis on patient care and whether management recognized the importance of their personal and family life. The results were the most negative (42 percent disagreed or strongly disagreed) with respect to management recognition of the importance of family and personal life. Why?

Through thick and thin, shortages and not, we have subjected each other to intense pressure to work-extra shifts and at a minute's notice. If begging and peer guilt did not work, we tried bonuses or the threat of "patient abandonment." No one doubted the need, but it was never put in balance with what personal demands were waiting at home for the nurse. This seems to be something that we can all work to change for the better.

We would do well to look at meaningful ways to increase the family-friendly practices of the many employment settings where nurses work. Employer-based child care, sick-child care alternatives, new-parent leave for dads and adoptions and family-friendly scheduling procedures and vacation policies are a start.

To be honest, those of us in leadership positions need to set a good example. Don't place your admiration upon or try to emulate a leader who spends more than 12 hours a day every day of the week at work. Tell them to get a life.

Discuss this and other topics with your colleagues at www.nurseweek.com/rnvillage.