It has been said that in music, the spaces between the notes are just as important as the notes themselves. As most of us have discovered, there are no books that teach about the "spaces" that contribute to a successful nursing career. For that, we need mentors.

Mentors come in many forms. Sometimes, they are older; sometimes, younger. Sometimes, they are more experienced; sometimes, they are neophytes who offer a different view of the world. Some mentors offer soft encouragement, while others jump-start your heart with inspiration.

While the styles and situations of mentoring can differ, some common traits are shared by successful mentors:

• Empathy: Being a mentor often means listening and empathizing-letting the mentee work out the solution by talking the problem through. As a mentor, you need to be able to see the situation as the mentee sees it before you can offer wisdom and insight.
  
• Honesty: Good mentors develop the art of constructive criticism so that the mentee understands that the criticism isn't personal. Like continuous quality improvement, mentoring requires seeing what's not working as well as what is.
  
• Patience: Mentoring is a commitment to a long-term relationship, not a quick fix for today's latest problem. It is working with people until they internalize processes and information and learn to see beyond their knowledge and experience horizons-not jumping in just long enough to tell them the answers.
  
• Selfless sharing coupled with a genuine desire to help someone else succeed: You can't become a mentor because you want to look good or because you want someone to look up to you. The basis must be a commitment to let others learn from your knowledge and experience without expecting them to become clones of you. Good mentoring is often done in the background without fanfare or hype. The reward for the mentor is the success and thanks of the mentee and the internal knowledge that you have made a valuable contribution to a person's life and to our profession.

I and many other nurses would not be where we are today or had many of the best experiences of our careers had it not been for our mentors. My first mentor in my professional life was a hospital administrator, Jon Baker, who took me under his wing and taught me the basics of management and, by example, how to lead people and help them develop their full potential. This experience occurred early in my career and it wasn't until many years later that I realized what a special gift I'd been given.

I received yet another gift when I went to work 20 years ago for Kathie Vestal, our new Midwest/Great Lakes editor at NURSEWEEK, who became my mentor for the next part of my career. While Jon had been the patient teacher, Kathie was the dynamic force who persuaded, encouraged, facilitated and counseled me through completing my educational journey, leading a national nursing organization and moving into senior management.

My nursing education gave me the ingredients to make a cake, but I needed Jon to mix the ingredients in the right proportions and Kathie to help with the icing for the cake to be complete. If you haven't been fortunate enough to have a mentor, seek one (or more) out. There is no bigger compliment that you can give than asking someone to be your mentor.

If you've never been a mentor, find someone you can help and offer your time and commitment. That person will benefit and you will benefit, as will the nursing profession and, ultimately, our patients. From personal experience, I can tell you that there is little I have ever done in my career that has surpassed the feeling of watching someone I mentored succeed and then go on to mentor others.